My Hockey Alpha



The air between us was stifling. Enzo's eyes, usually the kind of warm brown that reminded me of a cozy, crackling fireplace, were now a stormy, uncertain hue.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

He was hurt; that much was glaringly apparent.

"You're asking me if I would've had an abortion without telling you," I finally whispered, breaking the tension that was tightly gripping us both. "The truth, Enzo, is yes... I considered it."

Enzo looked like I had just jammed a knife through his chest. "Why?" he murmured. "We're supposed to be honest with each other, Nina. Why would you even consider keeping something like that from me?"

"Because," I said with a sigh, "I was scared, not just for me, but for you, too."

His brow furrowed as he looked at me. "Scared for me? Nina, how could you even think about making such a monumental decision on your own?"

I looked at him, my eyes pleading for understanding. "It's because of your new job, Enzo. You've got a chance to work with this hockey team, to do something that you've always dreamed of. You could be spending months away from home, focusing entirely on this. I thought that a baby would just... derail everything for you." Enzo shook his head, clearly frustrated. He moved away, running his hands through his already disheveled hair. For a moment, he paced back and forth by the window, looking out over the ocean. The waves crashing below against the side of the cliff felt like the perfect representation of his inner turmoil, of a storm brewing in his mind. And I felt the same way.

"But Nina, that's my decision to make, too," he finally said, turning to face me. "You can't just decide for both of us."

"And what about my decision, Enzo?" My voice wavered, and I clenched my fists to steady myself. "I have medical school. Would I have to give up my dreams as well? Do you think I can manage an intensive program and motherhood at the same time?"

He stopped his pacing and looked at me, truly looked at me, as if for the first time seeing the woman standing before him-filled with dreams, yes, but also with fears and vulnerabilities. "I'm sorry, Nina. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant...

Tears pricked my eyes, blurring my vision. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just that... I didn't know if I could do it. And I didn't want to force you into a corner, make you choose between your dreams and...this."

"You think I'd see our child as an obstruction? As a detour I didn't plan?"

"Wouldn't it be?" I countered softly.

Enzo's shoulders sagged as he closed the distance between us. His eyes, those turbulent windows into his soul, softened. He took me into his arms, the place that had always been my sanctuary, and just held me. No more words were needed in that moment; his touch spoke of promises, of shared dreams, and yes, of shared fears too.

"I'm not angry," he whispered, his breath warm against my ear. "I'm just hurt that you would think you had to carry this alone. You should have told me right from the start. I've been working away, having fun, while you've been here dealing with...this. Not to mention going to the hospital without telling me."

"I just wanted to protect you," I sobbed, my tears now free-falling as if a dam had burst. "Protect us. I didn't want us to have to make this impossible choice. I was trying to shoulder it myself, to spare you at least."

"But we're a team, remember? We face life together, whatever it brings, Enzo murmured as he stroked my hair, comforting me in the way only he knew how. The room around us felt a little less claustrophobic, as if our emotional release had given us both room to breathe.