A Drop of Pretty Poison: A Brother’s Best Friend Romance (Pretty Poison Trilogy Book 2)

Regret is a fickle thing. There aren’t many moments in my life that I wish I could change. I try not to dwell on the past or let things that already happened bother me. But even though the list is small, the argument we had last night is definitely at the top of it.

Hearing Laiken insinuate that I intentionally committed murder was a blow I never saw coming. She’s the one person that knows me better than anyone—even Cam. And knowing that she thinks so little of me, I’m not sure there’s a way to ever recover from that.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try.

I use the putty knife to smooth out the spackle that covers the hole I created last night. Sure, it could have waited, but I’d really rather not constantly be reminded of last night. Not when everything feels so unstable.

Losing Laiken is the last thing I want. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her, and I know for a fact I never will. She’s always going to be the one I’m meant to spend my life with, even if there comes a time when she’s no longer in it. But there are no guarantees. And if I fucked this up beyond repair, I don’t think anyone would be surprised.

As I finish patching the hole, I go upstairs to check on her. I’m half expecting her to still be sleeping, but when I walk into our room, I find the bed empty. Steam billows out from under the bathroom door, but the sound of the water hitting the tile tells me she’s not actually in it.

I knock on the door twice out of respect, but when there’s no answer, I push open the door. And the sight in front of me chips another piece off my heart and turns it to ash.

Laiken is lying on the bathroom floor, curled up in a ball. Her hair isn’t wet, showing she never actually got in the shower. And freshly dried tears on her cheeks give away that she was crying.

She looks so broken.

Lifeless, even though she’s breathing.

And as I lift her into my arms and carry her back to bed, I know that I have no choice anymore.

Cam was right. She needs help. And as much as I would love to be the one to give it to her, I can’t be. I’m too involved in the reason she’s gotten to this point in the first place. If I ever want the chance of her being okay again, I have to put her needs before my own, because a few weeks without her is better than a lifetime.

Once Laiken is safely and comfortably tucked in, I go back into the bathroom and turn off the shower. Then I quietly step out of the room, shutting the door behind me as I take out my phone. It takes everything in me to type out the text, and another five minutes to press send, but I finally force myself to do it.

Okay, I’m on board. Meet me at the bar in twenty and we’ll decide on a place.

There’s a possibility that she might never forgive me for this. I know that. But if anything were to happen to her, I would never forgive myself. And there comes a time when you need to swallow the bitter pill and accept that you can’t be someone’s everything, no matter how much you may want to be.

I SIT IN MY truck, staring at the house Laiken fell in love with at first sight. She looked so damn happy as we stepped onto the porch, and I could’ve listened to her for hours as she talked about all the things I could do with it. Little does she know, the whole time, I was picturing our future inside those walls.

A couple kids.

A dog.

Family dinners in the dining room, and birthday parties in the backyard.

I saw it all happening with her. It was right there. I had it in my hands. And now it’s so out of reach that I don’t know if those dreams will ever come true for us. But what I do know is I have no interest in having any of that if it’s not with her.

It takes ten minutes just to work up the courage to go inside. After talking with Cam for hours and going over all our choices, we found a place with a spot for her. It’s forty minutes north of here, but they have a good reputation, and from the pictures, it looks nice. Neither Cam nor I were ever going to put her in some shithole.

Though, something tells me it could be paradise and she’ll still be pissed about it.

The whole thing makes my chest hurt. I don’t want her to think I’m giving up on her or tossing her off on someone else. I hate this just as much as she’s going to, if not more, but I know that she needs it. She’s fighting demons right now, and we’ve all tried to help her, but we’re just not enough. She needs professionals. People trained to deal with this level of trauma.

With my hand on the doorknob, I prepare myself for what’s to come, but when I open the door and step inside, it’s like I stepped into a time capsule and brought back to a month ago—before everything became such shit. The house is clean, music plays through the speaker, and the smell that wafts from the kitchen feels like home.

My brows furrow as I look around and find Laiken in the kitchen. She’s cooking dinner and swaying to the beat. And when she turns around, her eyes meet mine, and she smiles in a way she hasn’t in weeks.

“Hey,” she says softly.

Putting down the spatula, she comes over to me and arches up on her tiptoes. Her lips meet mine, and she drapes her arms over my shoulders. It takes me a second to realize that this is happening—that it’s not some sick dream meant to torture me—and when I do, I pull her closer.

“God, I missed that,” she tells me.

I exhale as my grin widens. “Me, too.”

“I’m making dinner. It should be done soon, and then I was thinking we could watch a movie together?”

Ugh, that’s all I want. To hold her in my arms and breathe in the scent of her hair. But Cam is supposed to be coming here in an hour, after I have her packed and ready to leave.

“It smells delicious,” I say, kissing her forehead. “I was hoping we could talk though.”

She pulls her head back to look up at me. “I know, we need to, but do you think we could just enjoy tonight? Things have been rough lately, and I really want to have tonight with you; being together like it was before everything went to such shit.”

There’s not a damn thing in this world that could get me to deny her right now. Not when I need this just as much as she does. Staring into her eyes, it feels like I’m finally looking at the Laiken I fell in love with, and I’m going to enjoy it while I can.

“Of course, baby,” I reply. “Anything for you.”

She smiles brightly, kissing me once more before going back to dinner. Meanwhile, I take out my phone to text Cam.

I don’t know what’s going on, but I just came home to find Laiken cooking dinner and in a good mood. It’s like all that shit never even happened.

I look over at her and admire the way her hips sway to the music as she stirs whatever is in the pot, until my phone dings.

I don’t know, H. I still think we should take her to be evaluated.

I know, but can we take her tomorrow? I really just want to spend tonight enjoying her while she’s like this.

Okay. Keep me updated on how she is and I’ll see you around nine.

Thanks, Cam. I appreciate it.

Seeing him and Mali worry about Laiken as much as I have has been difficult. It’s like we all would do anything to get her back to how she was before tragedy fucked our lives to hell, but we can’t. The only thing we can do is sit around and be there in the moments when she needs us.

But as if the universe knew how much I needed this, I get her back for a night. It feels a lot like Noah and Allie in their final moments.

I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “I love when you cook.”

She hums, leaning back into me. “And I love when you hold me. It makes me feel like you love me.”

“There will never be a day that I don’t love you.” I move my left hand and rest it on top of hers, showing our tattoos of each other’s initials together. “You’re my forever.”

And as her head turns and our lips meet, the only thing I’m absolutely certain of is the truth in those words.

I USED TO TAKE simple times like these for granted. The nights we spent curled up together in bed like this while we watched whatever movie Laiken was wanting to see—I never appreciated them enough. I’d space out, thinking about things I had to do at the bar or get done around the house. It’s so easy to get lost in life, but you don’t realize how vital these little moments are until a bomb explodes in the middle of everything you care about.

Now, as some movie based on a romance novel plays in the background, the only thing I’m lost in is her. The feeling of her body next to mine. The softness of her skin against my fingertips. They’re things that I’m going to need to hold onto over the next few weeks, while she’s rebuilding herself back to the badass spitfire that I’ve always loved.

She lifts her head from my chest and smiles at me, but her concern grows as she sees the single tear that escapes from one of my eyes. Gently wiping it away with her thumb, she comes closer and ghosts her lips against mine.

“I love you so much,” she whispers.

God, if I could make the sound of her saying that my ringtone, I would. “I love you. I’m forever in love with you.”

I feel her start to deepen the kiss, pressing her mouth on mine with more pressure. And I kiss her back with just as much fervor because she breathes the life into me. But when her hand starts to slide down my stomach, I grab her wrist.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing I want more than to get wrapped up in her. Sex with us has always been different. More intense. More meaningful. It’s not ideal, but it’s the way we communicate all the feelings we can’t manage to say. The emotions we pour into it are genuine and real. But right now, she’s so mentally fragile that I’m terrified of being the catalyst that finally pushes her over the edge.

“Lai,” I breathe.

She sighs, resting her forehead on mine. “Please.”

The sound of her voice, so desperate and eager, it has my restraints ready to snap. We haven’t had sex since the morning of my birthday, and that would be an adjustment in itself if I wasn’t so worried about her. But it’s no secret that I’ve never been able to keep myself from giving into everything she wants, and I don’t think that’ll ever change.

“Please,” she repeats. “I need you, just for tonight.”

She doesn’t. Not in the way that she thinks she does. But I’m not about to tell her no right now. And to be honest, I need this just as badly as she claims to.

Rolling her onto her back, I cover her mouth with my own and she sighs contently. My fingertips graze across her skin as I drag my hand up her thigh, until the only thing separating the two of us is the thin pair of panties she has on.

“I’ve got you,” I promise.

I brush against her clit, reveling in the way she moans into my mouth and arches into my hand. I’ve missed having her like this—being able to control her entire body with a simple touch. I don’t think she even realizes how much that turns me on.

She reaches down, frantically pushing the panties down her legs and kicking them off to rid herself of the barrier between us. I smirk against her mouth and bend my fingers just right as I slip them inside of her.noveldrama

She’s so fucking wet.

It’s like she’s been thinking about this for hours and finally got the courage to ask for it. To beg for what she wants.

“Fuck,” she exhales. “Right there.”

She doesn’t need to tell me. I know her body better than my own. Every spot that makes her squirm. The spots that make her weak. How far I can tease her before it’s just downright cruel. There isn’t a thing about her body that I don’t have committed to memory. Tucked away in its own little section of my mind.

“You’re a goddess, Laiken Rose,” I tell her honestly. “An absolute goddess.”

Her eyes stare into mine, pupils blown from all of the arousal she’s feeling. “Your goddess. Always going to be yours.”

It’s like she knows how badly I need to hear those words. The reassurance that regardless of what we’re going through, she’s still just as much mine as she’s ever been. It feels like I might not drown after all.

“Love me,” she pleads. “I need you to make love to me.”

I drop a kiss onto her lips and pull my fingers out of her to get my boxers off, because who am I to not give her every damn thing she asks for right now?

Our sex life has always been colorful, with certain kinks and dirty talk, and there’s never been a time where we’re not completely worn out and sated by the end of it. But this isn’t that.

This is two people in love, desperately clinging to each other and needing to be as close as possible while we hope we make it out in one piece.

I line myself up at her entrance, leaning over her and kissing her lips as I slide into her. Our moans mix together in the air as we’re both overtaken by the feeling of being so connected. So completely intertwined.

“You are the best thing in my life,” I say as I slowly pull in and out of her.

Her eyes water as she smiles, only half listening as she’s lost in the feeling of us. “And you’re the best thing in mine.”

This is why we work so well. Why I was able to go from never wanting a relationship to all but begging her to marry me. Because she’s my rule breaker. My game changer. The answer to all my choices.

She may have been the one to fall first, but it was me who ended up falling harder.

And I’m going to spend the rest of tonight doing everything I can to show her how true that is.

SHE LIES ON HER side while I spoon her from behind. My one arm is under her head while my other is draped over her, my fingers laced with hers. This morning, we couldn’t have been further apart. But tonight, I’ve never felt closer to her.

“I love you, Laiken,” I say, trying to put as much feeling into it as I can to make sure that’s never a question in her mind.

Her hand squeezes mine. “I love you, too. I always will, no matter what.”

As I hold her in my arms and let my eyes fall closed, I drift to sleep with ease for the first time in weeks.

THE SUN POURS IN through the blinds, and I wake up feeling so refreshed. Last night was exactly what we needed—something to remind each other why we fell in love in the first place. It confirmed for me that no matter how hard things may get, I’d rather go through it with her than have it easy with someone else. But as I roll over to pull her close, I find her side of the bed empty and cold.

My eyes peel open, thinking that maybe we’re just on opposite sides of the king-sized bed, but she’s not there. I reach over to my nightstand and grab my phone to check the time.

7:30 a.m.

Good. I still have some time to enjoy her before Cam shows up and we have to convince her that this place will be good for her.

I sit up and rub my hands over my face before I slip out of bed. Heading for the stairs, I glance into the bathroom, but it’s empty. I tell myself that she’s probably downstairs making coffee or eating some breakfast, but when I notice she’s not there either, the panic starts to kick in.

“Laiken?” I call.

Nothing.

The whole house is quiet and her car isn’t in the driveway.

My fingers fly across the keys as I dial her number, but as I put it to my ear and listen to it immediately go to voicemail, my gaze lands on the picture frame that’s dismantled on the island. I feel like I can’t breathe as I step closer, seeing her handwriting scrawled across the back of our wedding photo.

I’m so sorry.

Three words. Three simple words that manage to send my entire world crashing down around me. And sitting beside them, shining in the sunlight that comes through the window, is the ring I proposed to her with.

No.

This can’t be happening.

She wouldn’t fucking do this!

I rush out into the living room, expecting to see her shoes by the front door, but they’re not there. Her purse isn’t on the couch where she left it last night. And as I take the stairs two at a time, running into our bedroom, I open the closet and feel my heart shatter into a million pieces as I see everything she owns is gone.

The only sign she was here at all is the unmade side of the bed where she laid in my arms last night and told me she loves me.

But if she loves me, why the fuck did she leave?

Running back down the stairs in a panic, I try to call her again, but it still goes straight to voicemail. And that’s when my entire body gives out and I crash to my knees.

Emotions flood through me in waves that threaten to pull me under, and honestly, I wish they would. Anything would be better than the pain I’m feeling. The way my chest feels like it’s cracked wide the fuck open, spilling all my organs out onto my lap, it’s excruciating.

She’s my whole life, and I know they say you shouldn’t do that—make one person everything to you. That a marriage should be equal, and you can’t make your entire world revolve around one person. But I did anyway, and now I don’t know how I’m supposed to go on without her.

I can’t.

I don’t want to.

I SIT AT THE island, staring at the three words she wrote and spinning the ring around my finger—as if somehow that’s going to bring her back. Like if I look at it long enough, I’ll realize it’s not actually there. That I hallucinated it, or this is all just a nightmare I haven’t woken up from. But it hasn’t happened yet.

I’m so lost in my thoughts I don’t even hear as Cam walks in.

“What’s up, dude?” he asks.

I open my mouth to say the words, but nothing comes out. It’s as if I can’t seem to admit it out loud, because then it’ll be real. Then, I can’t deny it anymore. But as Cam says my name, sounding concerned, I know I have no choice.

“She’s gone,” I choke out.

His head jolts slightly. “What?”

“Laiken,” I specify, hating the way her name feels like poison on my tongue. “She’s gone.”

Cam snorts. “No, she’s not. Don’t be so dramatic.”

He takes out his phone and goes to call her, and I don’t even try to stop him, because when it goes straight to voicemail just like it did the twenty-seven times that I’ve tried to call her, he realizes it for himself.

“What the fuck?” He tries again but gets the same outcome.

I drop the ring onto the back of the picture and slide it across the island to him. “She left me this.”

Cam’s face looks like a mix between concerned and shocked as he realizes the note was written on the back of our wedding photo. “I don’t get it. Why would she leave?”

I don’t have the answer, not for certain anyway, but there’s only one reason that comes to mind. Exhaling, I run my fingers through my hair and blink up at the ceiling.

“She thinks I shot Monty on purpose.”

Okay, now we can add a little anger to the mix of his emotions. “She what? Why the hell wouldn’t you just tell her the truth?”

“Don’t,” I tell him.

His eyes are getting wider by the second. “But you—”

“Stop!” I roar. “We’re not talking about it! I know what I did! It’s done! Just leave it alone!”

It’s not like I haven’t thought about it since the moment I realized she was gone. That she walked out and left me. But the truth is, the choice I made the moment tragedy struck that night is one I wouldn’t change. Even if I could go back and know what I know now, that’s one decision I would make over again.

And nothing he says is going to change that.

The front door opens, and both our heads whip toward it, hoping it’s Laiken and she’s changed her mind, but instead, Mali walks in. When she sees the look on our faces, she freezes.

“What’s going on?”

Cam and I glance at each other, both thinking the same exact thing.

If she didn’t tell Mali what she was planning, there can only be one reason for it.

She’s fucking gone and has no intentions of coming back.