Alec’s

I am drowning.

Alec's body is solid against mine, his warmth seeping through my skin, his breath heavy and ragged in my ear. His hard length pressed against my entrance, the tip sliding just inside, and it is torture.

A delicious, unbearable torture.

"Mate. Take him now, please." Nyx's voice is a throaty growl, her need as feral as mine. "He's right there. Just a little more..."

A strangled whimper escapes me, my hips arching to pull him deeper, to close the last fraction of space that keeps me from feeling all of him. My nails dig into his shoulders, and my head falls back against the rough bark of the tree.

"Alec," I breathe, the name slipping out in a desperate, needy moan.

His jaw clenches, muscles flexing beneath my palms. His eyes blaze, a molten gold, and the moonlight catches the sweat gleaming on his chest. His fingers grip my thighs, holding me up, yet he doesn't fully slide inside us.

He's all of a sudden different from how he was minutes ago. As if the lust no longer clouds his mind. I feel him trembling, fighting himself. Fighting us.

Then, without warning, he pulls back.

Cold air replaces his heat, and the loss of him feels like a slap, a wound, a rejection that stings like salt poured into an open cut.

Alec sets me down gently, his hands lingering on my hips for a heartbeat before he all but rips himself away, pacing a few steps, his hands buried in his hair.

I just stand there, panting, my chest heaving as I try to make sense of what just happened. My body aches, throbbing for him. The slickness between my legs is undeniable, a wetness that now serves as a humiliating reminder of how badly I wanted him-how desperately I had thrown myself at him.

I wrap my arms around myself, nails biting into my own skin.

He didn't want me.

I was giving myself whiplash. One moment I am against us mating with them and the next I want Alec so bad it hurts.

Nyx whimpered, her hurt mixing with my own. "Why? Why did he stop?"

Alec's pacing slows. He is panting, his chest rising and falling in rapid, shallow breaths. His fists clenched, knuckles white, and his eyes were squeezed shut as if he were trying to block out the sight of me.

A knot twists in my throat, and it takes every ounce of strength I have to turn away from him. To take that first, agonizing step away.

It feels like all the years before three years ago, when he always rejected. When

he didn't want me. When I wasn't attractive to him.

I force my legs to move, even though they shake beneath me. I don't trust myself

to speak, to say anything without my voice breaking. Without sobbing.

"Sadie."

Alec's voice is a rough, gravelly rasp. His hand closes around my wrist, holding me in place.

"Let me go," I whisper, my voice thick and raw. "You don't want me, so let me go."

"What are you talking about?" Alec's eyes are wild, his brows drawn tight. "Of course I want you."

I yank my arm from his grasp, but he doesn't release me. His hand only tightens, holding me firmly in place.noveldrama

"If you did, you wouldn't have pulled away,” I snap, finally meeting his gaze. “I felt you, Alec. You wanted me. You were right there, and then... then you pulled away."

Alec swallows, the muscles in his jaw working.

What is wrong with me? I didn't want him to mate me in the first place, then I did want him and now I am angry that he doesn't want me. It's unreasonable, but I wanted him and he didn't.

"Why?" I demand, tears burning behind my eyes. "Are you still in love with her? Is that it? Is that why you can't touch me?"

It's the only plausible reason. With

Lola he couldn't wait. I remember hearing the rumors the next day about how Alec had gone completely savage and taken Lola. He didn't mark her because she wanted to wait for the marking ceremony, but apparently the whole forest was filled with the sounds of their mating.

So why were things different with me when I am his real mate and she wasn't?

Unless he is still in love with her.

Alec flinches, and the pain in his

eyes strikes me like a physical blow. His grip loosens, and he takes a deep breath, as if trying to steady himself. Then, he steps closer, his forehead pressing against mine.