Alec’s

Alec

The cold-water rushes over me, icy rivulets cascading down my skin as I brace my hands against the shower wall. My breaths come in sharp, ragged bursts, each one echoing against the tile. My muscles tense beneath the freezing spray, and yet it does little to quell the fire raging inside me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, the water stinging my skin as I drop my head, letting it pummel the back of my neck. It's not enough. Nothing is enough.

The scent of her clings to me, even now. It's embedded in my skin, threaded through every breath, every heartbeat. Sadie. Her soft whimpers, the way her body arched against mine, her mouth forming my name on a trembling gasp. And now she's in the other room, curled up in that bed, her body wracked with the heat

I can't take away.

Knox growls in my mind, pacing restlessly. "They are in pain."

I know. Goddess, do I know.

I grip the back of my neck, fingers digging in as if I can scrub away the feeling of her pressed against me. The memory of her slick warmth against me is a brand I can't erase, and it's driving me out of my mind.

She wanted me. Begged for me. And I had to pull away. I had to be the one to stop it.

I can still hear the echo of her voice, broken and raw.

"You don't want me. You still love Lola."

A shudder wracks through me, the ache in my chest intensifying. I still can't believe that she believes I still love Lola. Can you imagine that? Yet can I blame her for believing that I didn't want her because I still loved Lola?

I know there were rumors about me and Lola three years ago. I do admit that I mated Lola during her heat; that is true. what is not true is the intensity of it. It wasn't so intense. It wasn't anything but normal.

That should have been another sign that something was wrong. That She wasn't who I thought she was. That she wasn't my mate.

I was so desperate to save my pack that I ignored so many red flags about her and our so-called relationship. With Sadie, everything is a thousand times more intense than what I felt with Lola.

Damn it. How could I have been so stupid? How could I allow myself to drown so much in a woman that I ended up hurting my true mate? It pisses me off so fucking much.

I slam my fist against the tile, the impact jarring up my arm. Pain explodes through my knuckles, sharp and welcome, grounding me in something other than the desire tearing me apart. I drop my head against the wall, the cool tile against my forehead a stark contrast to the burning heat inside me.

"We really were dumb," Knox growls.noveldrama

"I know," I whisper, my voice choked.

"But in our defense, we didn't know what to expect," Knox says. "We thought everything was normal."

"Yeah," I murmur. "Or deep down we knew but we chose to ignore it."

My jaw clenches just thinking of everything. I turn off the shower, water streaming down my face as I stand there, head bowed, heart thundering. It takes everything in me to pull myself together, to force my breathing to slow, to steady the frantic beat of my heart.

After a moment, I step out, wrapping a towel around my waist. My reflection in the mirror is a stranger- wild and tired eyes, hair plastered to my skull, jaw clenched tight enough to crack.

I grab a shirt and pull it over my head, not bothering to dry off. The wet fabric clings to my skin as I step back into the room.

Sadie's lying in the bed, tangled in the sheets, her brow furrowed even in sleep. My heart twists painfully. She's still suffering. Even in sleep, she's suffering.

Without thinking, I move toward her, climbing into bed and pulling her against me. She makes a soft sound, instinctively burrowing into my chest, her face pressing into the crook of my neck. The feel of her, warm and soft and fragile against me, is both a comfort and a torment.

I press my lips to the top of her head, inhaling her scent, letting it seep into my veins. The need to mate her is a living, breathing thing, clawing at my insides, demanding to be fed. But I can't.

I can't take her, not when I know deep down this isn't what she wants. When I

know that if it weren't for the heat, she wouldn't want me.

"Knox?" I reach out to him, my voice frayed.

His presence is a heavy, frustrated weight in my mind. "I'm here."

"How's Nyx?"

Knox's growl is low, strained. "Not good. She's exhausted. The heat's draining her."

I squeeze my eyes shut, my hold on Sadie tightening. I want to help. But she's not ready.

Knox is quiet for a moment before he says, "Nyx is feeling the brunt of it. Their heat is amplified through her, and she's bearing most of it. I'm trying to help, but..."

I grit my teeth, throat tight. "When Sadie wakes up, I'll ask her if she'll let Nyx have

her physical moment with you. Maybe that'll help. Maybe it'll give Nyx better relief."

Knox's relief bleeds through the bond. "Thank you."

I press my lips to Sadie's temple, the scent of her sweat and tears mixing with her natural sweetness. She's shaking slightly, even in sleep, and it's all I can do not to lose it right

here and now.

I close my eyes, resting my forehead against hers.

After a moment, I reach through the mind-link, needing a distraction before I give

in to the instinct that's screaming at me to claim her.

"Everything okay?" Micah responds almost instantly.

"Fine," I reply. “Just making sure everything's calm out there."

Micah's reply is instant. "You sure you're okay?"

I stare at the wall, my jaw clenched. I want to tell him that I'm falling apart, that every second I'm lying here. holding her and not inside her is a

special kind of hell. But instead, I

say, "Yeah. I'm fine."

I close the link and turn back to Sadie. She stirs, her hand moving to rest over my

heart, fingers curling against my shirt. Her lips part slightly, a small whimper escaping.

The sound shreds me.

My hand trembles as I cup her cheek, my thumb stroking over her soft skin. Her breathing evens out, and she nuzzles closer, her breath warm against my throat.

I press another kiss to her forehead, my lips lingering there, and I close my eyes, letting her scent, her warmth, and her presence be the only things tethering me to sanity.