ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy Pov

I thought I had gotten tougher and stronger and that I won’t tear up again but it turned out that to was far from being the strong woman I thought I was because I cried myself to sleep and woke up with tears in my eyes, I was sick too and had to throw up when I woke up, I understand the sickness was due to my pregnancy but, this much sadness and loneliness wasn’t because I was pregnant no it was because that’s what it is, that I am sad, that my life wasn’t going the way that I would have wanted it to go and the universe wasn’t showing mercy on me, I felt like I was feeling all the sadness in the word, my only friend and companion was my unborn baby, I laid in bed with nothing to do, willing myself to get up and at least eat, but I didn’t have the will not the strength to, so I just laid there, wishing for the hundredth time that I was having a long unpleasant dream, that I will wake up and laugh it off and move on with my life.Belongs © to NôvelDrama.Org.

“Kathy?”

I heard the reason for my sadness call, I didn’t bother to answer him, I wasn’t ready for another exchange of words, he was just going to keep lying to me, and to make things worst, I almost believed him last night, if the image of him kissing her hasn’t comeback to my mind, I would have believed him when he said he loved my, but I couldn’t, not with the image of him making love to another woman the same day, was in my head, he made love to her and is confessing love to be on the same day, I might be foolish for him but not to that extent no.

“Kathy, please, you have to eat,”

I heard him say, and ignored him still, I wish he would just leave me the hell alone, I didn’t want to see his face nor talk to him because seeing his face only reminds me of the both of them together, I should admit though, that this wasn’t the reactions I expected, I didn’t expect him to explain neither did I expect him to be wanting me to forgive him, I expected him to laugh in my face and finally reveal his true self but this, this wasn’t it at all, but that didn’t make it any less painful, infact it was even more painful, he said he didn’t love her then why was he kissing her, and why was he pictured taking off her dress, the thought of them together made me nauseous again and I got up and ran to the restroom, by the time I came back, I didn’t hear him again.

“He finally left,”

I said emotionlessly, it didn’t make me feel better that he left either, few minutes later, I heard the sound of a car, went to the window and watched him leave the house, so much for wanting the best for me.

“Maybe I should just leave this house,”

I thought but I didn’t want to leave just yet, I will go home to Arizona and while there, I will ask my dad for a loan that I will pay back which I plan on using to start my life here in New York, I still had to finish school, I can work online as there are tonnes of online paying jobs these days, I needed a long-term plan and I will do that while at home, I didn’t want my family to find out about my failed marriage just yet, I just didn’t want their pity neither did I want Mom to tell me again just how much of a failure I was, there was so much to do back home, as my older brother is getting married and also Nora’s given birth, I just hoped while I am home, everyone will be preoccupied enough not to notice my sadness because I don’t think I can pull off a fake smile for three whole weeks without the sadness showing, which got me thinking if I can just skip going, but I new I couldn’t, it would be the first time that I am seeing my siblings together in a while and I didn’t want to miss it, Nathan has finally returned home which was great news because since he left, we haven’t seen much of each other, according to Nora, he just showed up and said he was back for good, he didn’t say anything about where he has been or what he has been up to and according to her, so far he is doing good and I wanted to see him in person, we haven’t talked in the phone because I was still mad at him for not taking my calls when I needed him the most and for not been around for my wedding, I missed when we used to be each other best friends, which is why I was going to go home and spend the with them, and maybe just maybe the time with them will ease my sadness and loneliness.

Cross and I were supposed to go together but now I wasn’t sure if he would go or if I wanted to us to go together, I just couldn’t stand his presence, I went back to lay on the bed after standing by the window for almost ten minutes, I knew that I needed to eat something but I had zero appetite and the nausea I was feeling wasn’t helping either, if I ate anything the way I am know that I will end up throwing up, I closed my eyes and let my mind go blank, not thinking of anything, I fell asleep.

I was woke up by the sound of banging on my door, I got up too quickly which was a bad idea as I became nauseous again and ran to the bathroom to throw up, by the time I was done, I had only little strength left, I checked the time and it was past eleven am, I needed to eat, not just for me but for the baby as well, I got up from the bathroom floor.

“Kathy, please open the door,”

I heard Cross say when I stepped out of the bathroom, I hadn’t heard when his car came back and didn’t know he would be back so early either.

“Kathy, I promise that I will leave you alone after you eat something, I just want you to eat, I don’t want to disturb you or do anything else, just eat something, please?”

He said, I had to give it to him, I knew why he was concern, I knew it was because he found out about the baby, would he have acted different? If there hadn’t been a baby? Would he still have cared? There was not way to answer that, I shouldn’t have said anything about the baby but it had come out on their own and I couldn’t take what I said back.

“For the baby’s sake,”

I said to myself as I opened the door, he stood there with a tray of breakfast and chocolates, and by the way they looked, I knew that’s what he went out to get earlier, I remembered the last time he had done that two or three weeks ago, it had worked then but he must be crazy if he thinks it will work this time too.

“Can I come in?”

He asked, but I shook my head and collected the tray from him and before he could say anything else I locked the door on him.

“Please if you need anything just call Nora, I am leaving so that you can be free to leave the room, I am going to see Dean and I might not be back so early, you can have all the time you want Kathy, just know that I love you and that I can wait for you, I won’t give up on us,”

He said, I rolled my eyes at his declaration of love, I would have believed him if he had said it before I saw those pictures but him getting exposed and now saying he loves me seemed so fishy that I couldn’t believe him, there was no way I would believe him.

“Kathy? Can you at least answer me please?”

He pleaded.

“What?”

I croaked and realize I have lost my voice and all these while I thought I had been talking I had been talking inside, I cleared my throat and answered again.

“What?”

“I love you,”

He said, oh he was pushing it and boy it wasn’t working, I just walked back and sat on the bed with the food, I placed aside the chocolate and concentrated on eating the healthy food, it took quite a while to finish the food because I wasn’t hungry and had to force myself to eat as much as I can all for my baby. After I was done eating, I went to take a bath, I had the car leave while I was in he shower so I knew he was gone, once I was done taking a shower, I got dressed, I needed to visit an hospital to further confirm that I was really pregnant, I was about to leave for the hospital when my phone rang, wondering who it was and being sceptical about taking calls from strange numbers after all that has been happening, I decided to ignore the call, I wasn’t ready for another dose of shocking things that might further ruin my already horrible situation but then my phone beeped signaling an incoming message from the same number, I checked.

“Hi, it Ginna, can you pick your call, I wanna talk to you,”

The text read, the bitch had the audacity to text me, did she think I would be scared of her or something, and what did she want to say to me? That I should move out or what? I was still thinking of what she had to say to me when my phone rang again, thus time I picked it up.

“What do you want?”

“Hi, Kathy, I figure you will like to talk to me so I am offering to meet up, I have a lot to say to you too,”

She said and I regretted ever thinking that she was cool, she sounded like those wicked women in movies wanting nothing but to make their fellow women miserable.

“What makes you think I have something to say to you?”

I asked feeling proud about how my voice sounded.

“Come on, there is no need to pretend all is okay and rosy, I know you saw those photos, I don’t want us to talk over the phone, I will send you an address, don’t worry it a cafe, so you can come by and we will talk, trust me, you will be happy that you met me, if we have this talk,”

She replied.

“I don’t have anything to say to you, and I don’t want to hear anything from you either, don’t fall me again.”

I said.

“Even if you don’t have anything to say to me, which I doubt, I have a lot to say to you, there are a lot of things you need to know about me and Cross relationship, things I know Cross won’t tell you so you might wanna take this invite of mine, cuz I know you will have a lot to ask, I am being helpful here.”

She said.

“Fine, let’s meet up but it will be at a place I choose,”

I responded, I needed to see here, I couldn’t let her bully me from afar, I will meet her and give her a piece of my mind, I don’t even care what she has to say about her relationship with Cross, I got out of the house got into my car and drove to an hospital after texting the location….