Always Been You

“Oh really?” Katherine said. “Then please tell me how. Because obviously I’m doing it wrong”

“There is no right or wrong way, Kat. You just have to let yourself heal”

“You can’t tell me how to heal, Jensen,” Katherine said. And from the way her voice sounded, he knew she was starting to cry. All the pent up emotions she was trying to hide to repress suddenly came back in full force.

“My father is dead, Jensen,” Katherine continued. The tears were flowing freely now. “I’m never going to see him again. Did I tell you that I didn’t even get to say goodbye? Well, I didn’t. Because I didn’t want to accept that he was dying. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my father. So please don’t try to tell me how to grief. He wanted me to move on and be happy and that’s what I’m going to do”

Unable to watch her hurt like this, Jensen pulled her to him and wrapped his hand around her. She tried to move away at first, but he tightened his hold on her. Katherine let it all out, weeping on Jensen’s big, broad shoulder, his cheek rubbing the top of her head, one brawny arm holding her while the other was engaged in delivering soothing pats on her back.

“He’s gone” she said again and again and it was clear that the grief she had held in the past few days and at the funeral had suddenly overflowed and all Jensen wanted to do was comfort her.

She pulled away from her after a while and wiped her eyes with her palms.

“I’m sorry I came after you like that” she said. “I don’t know what I was thinking. It won’t happen again. And maybe you are right, maybe I’m going about this the wrong way. I’m so embarrassed right now”

“Don’t be,” he said.

“Well I am… I think I need to be alone right now”All content © N/.ôvel/Dr/ama.Org.

She didn’t give him a chance to reply, but simply turned around like she was being chased and went to her room.

He wanted it to happen again. Jensen thought. It just wasn’t the right time. And he didn’t want to take advantage of her grief. Especially not today.

———————-

Three weeks later.

Katherine unpacked the bags she had traveled with in her bedroom when her phone began to ring. She sighed. Definitely her mom calling. She thought and when she checked her phone and saw that she was right, she smiled.

“Hi mom,” she said cheerfully. “Perfect timing”

“Where are you?” Delia asked.

After the burial, Katherine and Tim spent more time with her mother and slept most times over there. She didn’t want her mother to feel alone. Even Jonathan came over when he could and they didn’t mind even when Delia assured them that she was fine and getting along well.

“I’m home mom,” Katherine replied. “Three hours ago actually, I just had to take a nap first. How are you and how’s Tim?”

“We are fine. I’m glad you are back. Lots of people have been asking where you were.. Oh… I wanted to tell you who came to see me yesterday.”

Katherine didn’t need anyone to tell her. “Jensen” she expelled a calming breath. “He came to visit?” she asked, trying to sound only vaguely interested.

“Yes. As you know, he comes once in a while. Which is nice. Tim likes him a lot. But yesterday he wanted to see you. He said you haven’t been returning his calls. Is everything alright, dear?” Delia asked.

Yeah everything was fine. Katherine thought. She was just really embarrassed about their last encounter. And a little bit angry… Even if she knew that he had done the right thing.

“It’s okay mom,” Katherine said. “He left me a couple of messages. When he couldn’t get an answer, he must have decided to come talk to you about where I was”

“Which, of course, I did.” Delia said.

“Did you tell him?” Katherine was wary.

“Yes,” her mother said tersely. “Even told him you would be back today. I hope you didn’t expect me to lie for you, Kathy”

Katherine sighed. “No mom. Did he say what he wanted to speak to me about?”

“He just said that he was worried about you as you weren’t replying to his texts or returning his calls. Talk to him, will you?”

“Fine, mom. I will” Katherine said. “I will come see you and Tim tomorrow. Give him a kiss for me.

Katherine gritted her teeth as she hung up. She had been gone for only a week. She didn’t need this. She’d had a successful business trip and she’d been looking forward to taking a break today before having to return to her world. Life was gradually going back to normal. As for Jensen… Well, out of embarrassment she didn’t want to think about him.

Sighing, she abandoned any idea of unpacking until later and trailed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She looked exhausted, she thought, tucking strands of dark hair back behind her ears.

Gazing into the mirror, she wondered how much she’d changed in the past weeks. She looked stressed. Of course, she’d lost a little weight… She wasn’t sure if she liked it that way or not… She touched her breasts.. Firm. She thought.

Oh, well, who cares? she thought, too tired to even dry herself properly after her shower. Twisting her still damp hair into a loose knot on top of her head, she tumbled naked between the sheets. And not even her worries about her mom or work or Jensen could keep her eyes open. Soon she was asleep again.

The phone awakened her. At least, she thought it was the phone, but when she groped for the phone beside the bed the ringing still went on. It was the doorbell, she realized. Someone was at the door.

Sighing, she flopped back against the pillows and looked at the clock on the bedside cabinet. It was almost five o’clock. She’d slept for less than two hours, but that was something, she supposed. Amazingly, she didn’t feel as tired anymore.

The bell rang again and, throwing back the covers, Katherine slipped her arms into the sleeves of a green silk wrapper. Then, padding across the living room to the door, she asked. “Who is it?”

“Kat”

It was Jensen, and her stomach made a sickening dive.

“I know you are in there, Kat. Will you please open the door?”