Why?
Jamal kept a tight hold on to Roksolana as he walked back home hurriedly. He wished he had some magical powers that could make him land on his bed with Roksolana with just a single thought. That was how hard he was for her. And the fact that she had come to him herself gave him a clue that she had forgiven him or she was very close to forgiving him. When he got home, he ignored the greetings from the guards and turned the doorknob to go into the house, but a voice stopped him.
“Sultan.” The voice called.
Jamal cursed under his breath at whoever had thought of disrupting his plans. When he turned back, he saw his best friend standing behind him. His anger dissipated a little when he saw who it was.
“What do you want, general?” Jamal asked impatiently.
“I also think you did the wrong thing with Lady Miriam,” The general replied. He glanced at Roksolana once and promptly dismissed her.
Jamal opened the door for Roksolana and told her to wait for him inside. He was grateful when she obeyed the order without hesitation. When Jamal was sure that she was safely in the house, he closed it firmly behind him and walked to general Sodeeq. Without a warning about what he was about to do, Jamal punched the other man in the face. He watched without remorse as blood flowed from the general’s nostril. The surprised look on the face of his best friend didn’t move him either. Jamal pointed a finger at the general’s bleeding nose in a warning.
“That was just a light warning because you are a friend. Now, make sure you never utter such words again before me,” Jamal warned. He left his best friend standing and walked away from the man.
He wondered what was wrong with his friend lately. The man had always been looking for ways Jamal would get rid of Lady Miriam before, then suddenly, he changed and began to root for the lady. It doesn’t matter since he already corrected the impression that anyone could change his mind about making Lady Miriam the harem leader again. Others who hear the story about how he punched his best friend over the matter would know that they could lose their lives over it if they trespassed.
Roksolana moved around the room in worry. Why were the entire janissaries against her being the harem leader? Even Sodeeq had joined them when she thought that the other man was a friend to her. Was there a special meaning behind being a harem leader? Roksolana wished her father had kept a harem back then. At least, she would have learned about women in the harem and wouldn’t be in a dilemma right now because of it. She wondered what the Sultan and the general were talking about. She knew that the Sultan hadn’t wanted her to know about what transpired between the two and that was why he had asked her to get in. What was taking him long? Roksolana wondered. She stopped in her pacing mood when she heard the doorknob being turned.
Jamal entered the house and saw worry lines etched on Roksolana’s face. He smiled at her to ease her worry when she looked at him. When she wouldn’t relax, Jamal moved closer to her and petted her cheek. She relaxed under his touch after some minutes. Jamal sat down on a chair and made Roksolana sit on his lap. Even though he wished he was inside her, he found that he was worried about her happiness, much more than his sexual appetite.
“I came here to ask you why you forced yourself on me,” Roksolana said after a while of being silent.NôvelDrama.Org (C) content.
Jamal held her hand in his and began to caress the back of the hand he held. Roksolana smuggled even closer to him and rested her head on his chest. Jamal knew in that instance that she had forgiven him. All she just needed was an explanation from him. Something to justify what he had done to her. He explained to her how he had gotten jealous when he had seen her laughing with another man. How the jealousy had turned into anger when he remembered how she ignored him each time he tried to get her attention. And she had walked in when he was still trying to control himself from the emotional tumor he was feeling. He apologized for causing her pain by forcing his way into her. He also apologized for not caring about how she would feel when she saw him with Lady Miriam the next day.
“Actually, I only felt the pain when you first forced your way in. After that, I began to enjoy it,” Roksolana told him. Jamal could hear the shyness in her voice as she said those words. The shyness made him even harder than he already was.
“I can make you enjoy it without any pain this time, Dawn.” He said, his voice dropping to a low octave. He watched as Roksolana chewed her lower lips in indecision. She shook her head negatively after about a minute.
“You left me with a weird feeling last time. I was almost going to touch a rainbow and you just suddenly stopped. I don’t want to experience that again,” Roksolana told him sincerely
Jamal raised Roksolana’s head and stared at her in disbelief. She had enjoyed their first time together? Damn his insensitive mind that hadn’t recognized her needs at that moment. He had heard her moan at that moment but had thought that it was only a fragment of his imagination. If only he had listened more attentively, he would have tried to make her enjoy that special moment too. He badly wanted her now, but he wasn’t about to force her into something she was not interested in. He was even happy that his action hadn’t scared her too much. He looked at her to tell her again that he was sorry for his action and was astonished to see her staring at his lips. When their eyes met, she looked down. Jamal realized that she wanted him too, and she was either too scared to admit it or she was still scared that the last episode could repeat itself.
“We could still make love. I won’t penetrate if you don’t want me to,” Jamal told her, taking the initiative.