Chapter 36
Terra
It was mid-morning my nerves skyrocketed when the former Alpha appeared again unannounced, his stately presence unmistakable despite casual dress.
I leapt up, pulse racing. “Elder, I wasn’t expecting you. Is everything alright?” Visions of accidents or emergencies raced through my mind.
But he raised his hand. “Peace. I’m not gravely ill, only a fool errand.” Rue twisted his mouth. “I’m here to plead a case on your behalf…and my son’s.”
Though touched, I steeled myself. Nathan was using his father as an emotional bargaining chip. I would not be manipulated so easily, whatever the costs.
“There are no sides here.” I spoke firmly despite his crestfallen look. “Your loyalty is admirable. But the conflict between Nathan and I cannot be resolved by others’ wishes.”
The former Alpha clearly longed to argue, but ultimately just nodded wearily and took his leave. My breath left in a shaky exhale as the door closed behind him.
Holding my ground felt necessary, but that made it no less painful denying his sincere intervention efforts. Hurting this dear wolf who had been a second father to me after losing my own was the deepest possible betrayal in Nathan’s eyes. Everything between us lay in ruins now.
I turned the clinic’s ‘closed’ sign early that day, needing time alone to grieve the final disintegration of my bond with Nathan that today’s encounter signified. No common ground remained between us, only barricades and landmines.
Stepping outside to catch my breath, my eye caught on an exquisitely arranged bouquet of wildflowers lying on the steps. My throat clenched instantly recognizing Nathan’s bold romantic gestures. The attached note in his elegant script confirmed the suspicious origin.
“A small hope these may yet bridge the divide. We were friends once, you and I. Is redemption impossible now? – N”
A futile romantic hope perhaps, but the raw sincerity was undeniable. He was trying desperately to salvage our tattered history, despite all rationality. This peace offering penetrated my defences with painful nostalgia.
But even appreciating the poignant sentiment felt like betrayal of myself and my sons. I could not forget the past. My role was safeguarding the innocent from future suffering, not redeeming those who inflicted wounds.
With leaden steps, I carried the lovely bouquet inside and placed it in water on my office shelf. Despite everything, some deeper part of me could not bear to destroy this last fragile link. But letting the flowers remain in no way weakened my resolve to protect the boys.
That night I tossed and turned restlessly, besieged by memories and doubts until pale dawn brought no further chance for sleep.
Moving through the morning clinic routine required monumental effort. My weary mind could hardly focus on patients’ concerns when constantly straining for any sound of Nathan’s approach.
But only silence and stifling solitude filled the little sanctuary now. My sons’ beloved drawings and toys seemed to reproach me for sending them away. The cabin’s warmth felt impossibly far away, separated by months rather than mere miles.
At last the final patient departed and I began closing up shop for the evening. Sheer emotional exhaustion left me numb, focused only on placing one foot before the other until I was somewhere I could collapse unseen.
Stepping outside into the cool dusk, I froze. Nathan sat on the clinic steps, elbows braced on knees and head bowed in a weary mirror of Atlas bearing the world’s weight. This time he had come without theatrics, only grave resignation.
Even expecting him, the sight pierced deep. Nathan lifted his haggard face to meet my gaze, amber eyes naked with anguish. “You once said I didn’t understand life’s greys, only black and white extremes,” he spoke h**ely. “Now I see how the world blurs and bleeds painfully.”
He searched my face beseechingly. “I don’t ask you to forget, or even reconcile, Terra. Only give me a chance to prove myself worthy of knowing my sons. I would trade all else to be their father.” His voice broke on the admission.
My own hard-won composure threatened to crack wide at this glimpse of the Nathan I once knew. Perhaps he had changed as profoundly as I in ways only suffering teaches.
But the sound of a slamming screen door nearby made me start, jolting the hypnotic spell. The clinic property provided too little buffer for diplomacy if he lost restraint.
I took a bracing step back, holding up a warding hand though it trembled faintly. “I can’t risk them getting attached before knowing your heart is true. Please understand.”
Nathan opened his mouth to continue arguing, but my quelling look gave him pause. With a bone-deep sigh, he rose slowly.
“You’re right. I’ve done little to demonstrate good faith.” His voice rang hollow, only bitter resignation left. “I won’t force the issue and cause more hurt.”
He turned to walk back down the shadowy path, shoulders slumped in defeat. But at the gravel drive he hesitated, looking back once more with eyes full of raw anguish. “Just tell them someday their father tried to make amends, but came too late.”
Before I could respond, Nathan slipped away into the gloom without another glance. His parting words reverberated through my chest, an aching echo of roads not taken.
Bitter tears escaped as I watched until the darkness swallowed his silhouette completely. Perhaps some wounds cut too deep to ever heal, no matter how we try.
The evening hours passed in fitful misery until emotional and physical exhaustion finally left me numb enough to collapse into bed. But sleep remained elusive, thoughts chasing relentlessly.Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.
When pink dawn light crept through the blinds what seemed mere minutes later, I rose bleary-eyed after tossing and turning all night.
A bone-d**p weariness clung that had nothing to do with lack of sleep. The showdown with N**n had depleted my last reserves. I longed desperately to hold my sons close again and find some rejuvenation in their innocent affection.
Moving through morning rituals mechanically, I decided closing the clinic another day was necessary for my stability. I would make the long drive to Collins’ sanctuary by the lake and surprise the boys instead. Just feeling their little arms
fractured spirit. around me would restore my
The winding forested roads lulled my agitation some during the journey. But my pulse leaped erratically the closer Ldrew to that haven promising comfort and safety.
Too soon the charming log cabin tucked against the lakeshore came into view. I pulled up beside Collins’ sturdy old truck with profound relief. Here at last was refuge, however temporary
But when I burst through the front door, no exuberant shouts or pattering footsteps greeted me. “Boys?” I called tentatively. Only silence answered.
Dread crept up my spine as I searched each room frantically, finding no sign of habitation. The cheerful home I expected stood utterly still and empty, like a discarded shell. They were gone.
Finally I spotted a note weighted beneath a magnet on the refrigerator, Collins’ sturdy print unmistakable. Hands shaking violently now, I lifted it to read his brief alarming message:
“Terra, Nathan showed up just after you left demanding to see the kids. I refused and tried stalling but he had the place surrounded. He gave me no choice but to cooperate or put them at greater risk. Don’t worry, I’m staying with them for now. But Nathan is their father by blood, there was no legal justification to keep them from him. I’m so sorry. Please be careful. – Collin”
The page drifted from my numb fingers. Desolation swept through me, more piercing than any physical pain. My greatest fear had come to pass. Nathan had wrested my sons from me, exploiting his power without mercy. And he had finally succeeded in turning my closest friend against me.
I was well and truly alone now. No options remained but accepting utter defeat, the fatalistic conclusion Nathan longed to force me to from the beginning. Unless…
No. I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to complete the dark thought. I could not let desperation drive me to such extreme measures, even for my sons’ sake.
But how else could I reclaim them now except through dangerous means? Either way, we all stood poised on the edge of an abyss with no clear salvation in sight. And time was running out