Caught in a Loop
I get it. No one wants to deal with me. They must view me as someone very difficult to deal with.
“What are you trying to say?” I asked, wanting him to just get to the point.
“It’s not safe for you to be wandering around cluelessly outside right now. That is what I’ve been trying to say,” Luka stated emotionlessly.
“You’re telling me that Hayden is keeping me locked up here for my own safety? That’s crazy! No one is going to hurt me; I’ve never hurt anyone. This is crazy. Please let me out, please…” I cried out desperately as I hammered at the door with my hands.
“I can’t let you out. As I already told you, I’m not allowed to open the door…” Luka said regretfully.
Why is it unsafe for me outside? That can’t be true, right? My life was normal…
Is this because of Ethan? They think Ethan will harm me?
“I honestly don’t think that Ethan would harm me. He’s…not that kind of person,” I said loudly.
“That’s what you think but Hayden isn’t so trusting. I don’t blame him. Even I don’t know who to trust which is why I never trusted anyone outside of Torex. Your father included…” Luka said as his tone darkened.
My father? Oh right, my father was from the Silva gang although he was friends with the boss. I guess Luka wasn’t a big fan of my father back then. However, I was convinced that my father wanted peace and was working hard towards it. In the end, he also chose a peaceful life so that he could raise me up normally.
Ethan said that he wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps, and he also wanted peace. Should I tell this to Luka, I wonder. If I tell Luka, will the boss hear about it? Would it be good or bad if the boss hears about Ethan’s desire to partner with Torex?
I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to think about it. I was scared of saying the wrong things. Right now, I need to figure out a way out of here. My head hurts and the biggest problem was I didn’t know what was true anymore.
I didn’t know who to trust anymore…
“When do you think I’ll be let out of here?” I asked bluntly.
“Honestly, I don’t know. You’ll be a big burden to Hayden if you wander around randomly outside, that’s for sure. Why don’t you just relax and stay in here for now? If you want anything, I’m sure Hayden is more than willing to provide it to you…” Luka advised.
True, except for the fact that the thing that I wanted most was freedom.
“I want to get out of here…” I whined.
There was a pause and perhaps Luka was thinking of something because when he spoke again, he had a suggestion.
“Why don’t you try to make peace with Hayden? You know, just be nice to him and don’t irritate him. Hayden’s actually a nice guy, too nice to be a successful mafia if you ask me which is probably why half the gang was scared shitless about the gang’s future when Harvey died,” Luka suggested.
“You want me to be nice to him?” I asked, seriously unconvinced.
“Nothing to lose in trying, right? If it doesn’t go well, you’re back to square one. If it does, maybe you can roam about the huge mansion and its gardens for a change. I doubt he’ll let you out beyond the mansion’s gates but anywhere inside the mansion should be safe enough for you. This place is like a fortress,” Luka explained convincingly.
“Thank you…I guess…” I murmured through the door.
“Sure thing, missy. I’ll be back again soon just to make sure that you don’t go crazy…” Luka said and then I think he walked away.
He didn’t say anymore, and silence became my only companion once again.
…
Despite Luka’s convincing suggestion, I couldn’t find it in me to suck up to Hayden. For the next three days, we played our awkward game of cat and mouse. Nothing improved in our relationship and in my life. The only thing that I learnt was that Hayden had implemented a fixed schedule for our interaction that repeated itself until I had gotten accustomed to it.
During the day, Hayden would be gone. I don’t know where he went, and I never asked, but I do know that he wasn’t in the mansion. Instead of coming back late, Hayden came back early in the evening in time for dinner. Dinner would be set up at the dining table in my room and we would have dinner together, usually in silence. I got the feeling from the way he had his eyes on me while I ate that this was probably his way of making sure that I ate at least one proper meal a day.
Although I knew that there were many things that I should try to talk to him peacefully about, my mouth refused to open when he sat right opposite me at the dining table. Day after day, I didn’t say anything but respond to his same set of questions.
“What did you do today?” Hayden asked.
“Nothing,” I replied truthfully. It was the same answer that I gave to the same question that he had been asking every day.
I also knew what question he would ask next.
“Do you want or need anything?” Hayden asked, his blue eyes still on me.
“No, I don’t want or need anything,” I replied.
Same question; same answer.
“Did you sleep well last night?” he asked.
“Yes, I slept decently well last night,” I replied without a thought.
“Is there something that you want to do?” Hayden asked.All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
Once again, I gave him the same answer that I gave him every day.
“I want to go back outside…” I replied as I looked deeply into his cold blue eyes.
The conversation was always the same and probably because of that, it always ended the same way. Because Hayden couldn’t grant my wish, he would get up from his seat and leave the room silently while I sat and stared at the leftover food on the table in front of me. The door would close firmly behind him and then it would be locked from the outside.
–To be continued…