Chpater 87
We all had goals and up until now leading a pack of werewolf's wasn't mine. I wasn't the type of girl to stay home and not work.
I don't think I could be a housewife.
Grabbing a clean towel I closed my bedroom door quietly behind me. I was hoping my morning shower would clear my head. I worried about everything, I overthink every decision. Stripping out of my clothes I turned the shower on.
I worried I couldn't do it. What if I wasn't the strong girl he thought I was? What if his pack wouldn't follow my lead like he said. Standing under the water I closed my eyes.
My anxiety was through the roof this morning.
He was always telling me not to worry or stress about it but I couldn't help it. I put 100% into everything I did. I knew some of his pack members didn't like me but I understood why. I didn't ask to be his mate. He picked me not the other way around. Not that I would change it.
I had to stop putting so much pressure on myself.
Washing the soap from my body I took the towel off the rail wrapping it around my body. I didn't feel any better. My head felt like it was going to explode. At this moment I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I went to bed happy and woke up feeling like crap. My emotions were playing up and my game was off. I was stuck in a ruck with my life. I couldn't stop the what ifs in my head. Exiting the bathroom I went back into my bedroom.
He was awake his head buried in his phone.
"Morning princess".
"Hey". Taking a seat at my window I pulled back my curtain slightly. It was a wet one again.
"What you worrying about?". He asked. He wasn't looking at me his concentration still locked on his phone. It still amazed me that he could tell something was off with me. Was I having second thoughts? Did I really want this, want him? I was basically giving my life to him. He held everything.
I was putting it down to having an off day. We all had them and there was nothing wrong with it.
"Babe?".
"Nothing". I smiled getting to my feet. Grabbing my clothes I made sure not to make eye contact. I didn't want him to worry. What I was feeling had an impact on him as well. "Leah if something is wrong then tell me". Grabbing a hold of my hand I sighed. Chewing my bottom lip I looked into those big brown eyes.
He was definitely worried.
"I-..." I hesitated.
"I fucking knew it". He sighed dropping my hand.
"Know what?". I questioned.
"You're not 100% in this. You're having second thoughts". Getting to his feet he started to pace my room.
I wasn't I just wasn't sure. I knew I wanted him I guess it was the unknown that was playing in the back of my mind. Again overthinking everything.© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.
"No Jake that's-...."
"Last night I would have fucked you. If she hadn't of walked in I would have taken you. I'd have ate that sweet little cunt of yours. I'd have finally gotten to taste you". "Jake I-...."
"This isn't a fucking game Leah. This is my life, our life and baby if you're not 100% in this then it's not going to work".
"I didn't say that". He was jumping to conclusions like he did with everything. He always made it bigger than what it was. I wasn't having second thoughts. I wanted to be with him god he had no idea how much I wanted to be with him. "Then what the fuck is going on with you. You're acting completely different from last night". He yelled.
"Shut up". I hissed.
"Or what?". He snarled. "Don't you clench your f*****g teeth at me".
Glaring at him I balled my hand into a fist. I was pissed off and turned on at the same time. Angry Jake was sexy. "You don't scare me". I snapped my eyes locked with his.
Werewolf or not I wasn't scared of him. Whether it was because of the bond and I knew I was his I wasn't afraid. I could take as much as I could give.
His eyes darkened, his top lip pulled back into a snarl.
"I'm not scared of him either". I hissed.
"Oh but baby". He took a step towards me his hand slipping into the back of my hair. He pulled hard a cry falling from my lips. "You f*****g should be". His voice sent shivers down my spine.
I couldn't break the stare. My breathing was coming out in short pants. Was it bad that I kind of liked this side of him. The dark, twisted, dangerous bad boy. F**k he turned me on so much.
"Let's get one thing straight princess". His grip tightened, my eyes closed a moan escaping my lips. I wanted him. I liked this. It wasn't something I was used to but my body wanted it.
I was hot. I was throbbing, that sweet little feeling of ecstasy building in the pit of my stomach.
"You're mine do you understand that?". He growled his teeth grazing the side of my neck. I gasped. It was the first time he had done that. "Every fucking piece of you is mine. No second thoughts, no backing out, do you f*****g get that?". "O-okay". I stuttered my eyes opening. "I'm sorry I just...."
"I don't want to hear it". He growled taking a hold of my chin. "F*****g mine". Kissing my lips he pulled on my bottom one, his teeth sharp. "Get sorted I'll be back at 8. 30".
Then he was gone.
I was shaking and not with fear. I had seen his temper but that side of him was a first for me. He was so dominating, so ruthless. He was a bad boy and I couldn't be more attracted to him. My body was screaming with need for him.
I didn't doubt anything with him. What I was thinking wasn't anything to do with him it was me. In a split second, the way he pulled my hair, the way his growl caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand. He made me forget everything. The overthinking, the whole I wasn't good enough, the second guessing, gone. Being around him was all it took to make it go away.
I could do this couldn't I?
Blinking a few times I dropped the towel from my body. Slipping my underwear on I pulled my jeans up my legs. I was a confident girl I just had to show it. Confident Leah was very different from insecure Leah.
I was being stupid and insecure Leah was very much on show right now. Pulling my T-shirt over my head I grabbed my hairbrush and brushed out my hair. I wasn't feeling today at all and it hadn't even started yet. Pulling my hair into a messy bun I grabbed my glasses putting them on.
I was way to early for school but at least I was good to go when it was time.