Pregnant For My Bully

Jason Davenport

It took a while to process everything that had just happened.

Amelia had attempted suicide.

Amelia was carrying my child.

Still dazed, I sat on the still cold floor in my wet clothes, my back resting against a raised platform, and I forced myself to think.

Think of the times when I still had mom. Think of the times when Amelia and I had been. . . friendly.

Friendly.

Something cold pumped through me. It felt wrong saying that. Thinking like that. A part of me just couldn’t bring myself to accept that fact. To me it felt like betrayal.

And betrayal meant that I was making peace with the cause of mom’s death. That I was accepting it, embracing it. And that was something I couldn’t do.

I felt helpless and confused.

The reason why I hated Amelia so much was because she was the cause of mom’s death. Maybe she wasn’t the direct cause, but she was the last remnant of it. Her parents had killed my mom.

My hands were shaking now.

Why the fuck should I care if she decided to kill herself. Why should I be scared? Why should I feel guilty?

Why would I. . .

The picture of me close to tears some minutes ago when I thought Amelia was dying flashed through my mind. Why had I reacted like that?

“I-I hate her. . .” I stuttered, not really comprehending everything that was going through my head.

Hating Amelia gave me something to hold on to. And I realized that if I stopped hating Amelia, stopped bullying her. . . it felt like my life would be purposeless.

Subconsciously, I’d resolved to avenge mom’s death in any way I could. And it hurt to even look at things from Amelia’s point of view, to place myself in her shoes.

I knew I had hurt her.

The pain in her eyes. The bitterness in her voice when she laughed.

I was sorry.

But I didn’t want to be.

Running my fingers through my hair, I let out a sigh. I was exhausted. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do.

Resisting the urge to lay down by the pool all day, I got up slowly, surveying the environment and trying to summon enough energy to drive back home.

As I looked to the entrance, Adrian barged through the doors and walked briskly in my direction when he saw me.

Finally. I really needed someone to talk to right now.

I walked half the distance to meet him. “Hey, man, I was about to call-”

I was cut off by Adrian’s fist connecting to my face as he landed a sharp punch to my jaw.

Letting out a muffled groan in pain, I whipped my head up after I’d recovered. “What the fuck, man!”

He responded by punching me a second time, this time to my nose. I staggered to the floor from the impact.

Shaking with rage now, I hurried to my feet and shoved him backwards roughly making him flinch in pain.

He followed up with a second punch to my nose. I gurgled and fell to the floor as dark red blood gushed from my nose.

“What the fuck is up with you!”

I pressed my left hand to my nose in an attempt to stop the blood but to no avail. I looked up to see Adrian breathing hard and fast, his fists curled up.

“You’re a fucking monster!” He yelled. “I knew you could be a dick sometimes, but this. . . this is inhumane. Why the fuck would you do something like that?”

My mind and heart raced as I tried to figure out what he meant.

I froze.

Had he found out about Amelia?

He threw me a look of disgust. As if something ran through his head again he let out a groan and grabbed me off the floor, throwing punches all over my face.

When he had had enough he let me slump to the floor.

“You raped someone, Jason,” He whispered in disbelief. “I would’ve bet my life on it being a lie if someone told me you’d do something like that.”

“I’m so fucking disappointed. I never understood why you hate her so much. Yes, I get it. You lost your mom and went through the trauma that comes with that. But that’s no excuse to treat someone like a fucking animal!”

My chest was heaving now and I felt dizzy. I could feel the blood dripping from my nose. I wanted to say something. Something to justify what I felt.

Maybe if he understood that she was the cause of mom’s death. . . maybe he’d understand. I was only trying to avenge my mother. . .

“Adrian, listen to me please. . .” I managed to choke out.

He threw me a disgusted look. But he didn’t make any other move so I took it as a sign to continue.

I tried to control my wheezing, using my shirt to press my nostrils together.

“I-I’m sorry she’s hurting. But she. . . her parents killed my mother. Don’t you understand? How am I supposed to live knowing that-”

“They’re dead too, you fucking idiot! Her parents are dead. That’s why it’s called an accident!”

“Adrian-”

He shook his head. “Just shut the fuck up.”

Giving me one last look he said, “Stay the fuck away from Amelia, and away from me.”

I saw his jaw tic.

“I could never be friends with a fucking rapist.”

With those words, he walked away, shutting the doors furiously behind him.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

What have I done?

Shaking, I lay in the same position till the blood dried on my face. Suddenly, I was filled with a surge of anger.

“Everything I’ve ever done was for you, mom!”

It was for mom. If Adrian couldn’t see that then probably he was a bad friend. Maybe I didn’t need Adrian after all. A good friend would see.

I didn’t do anything wrong.

I didn’t do anything. . .

I carried on the chant in my head till I felt the first drops of tears begin to land on my cheek.

Jason Davenport

I staggered out of my car as I killed the engine, trying to steady myself to walk up the stairs. I still wasn’t sure how I had managed to drive all the way home. My head had been pounding furiously and I could feel the nausea, the dizziness coming up.

Using the car door to steady myself, I bent over and threw up all over the grass. I clutched my jeans with sweaty palms, my vision beginning to blur.

With all the strength I could muster, I brought myself to my feet and stumbled up the stairs to my room. I’d never been so tired in my entire life.

I heard someone gasp as I pushed my bedroom door open. Slowly, I turned to see Ashley, a horrified look on her face. I shut my eyes tight and walked into my room. I really didn’t want to see her. We hadn’t had any contact since the birthday surprise thing with Dad.

The fact that I didn’t catch her doing anything to harm Dad and the possibility that she could actually love him only made me resent her more.

Dumping my backpack on the floor, I peeled off my jacket and collapsed in the bed willing sleep to come.

I heard Ashley race noisily into my room. As she neared my bed, she tapped my shoulder lightly and turned me over. I groaned in pain as my broken nose rubbed against the sheets. Angrily, I slapped her hand away.

“What the fuck is your problem?”

She didn’t flinch. Placing her hand on my shoulder and taking out a cotton ball and antiseptic from the first aid kit she held in her hand, she gently wiped the dried blood around my nose.

Was she deaf now?

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I spat, fighting the fatigue that enveloped me from head to toe.

“Oh my God, Jace. Relax for one second and let me help,” She said, still gripping onto my shoulder in a surprisingly firm hold.

I watched her wipe my face, astonished. Was she acting deaf on purpose? I didn’t know what I needed right now, but it definitely wasn’t this shit. Enraged now and struggled to my feet, slapping her arm away forcefully.

“If you think that this shit you’re trying to pull off qualifies you as a mother then you have another thing coming. Trying to suck up to me isn’t going to change anything.”

“I’m not trying to replace any-”

“Stop fucking playing dumb. I see what you’re doing here.”

I moved closer to her.

“No matter how hard you try you’ll never, ever come close to being a mom. So it’d be better for everyone if you pick your things and go back to the ghetto. Fucking gold digger.”

Her glazed eyes giving me the reply I needed, I pulled her out my bedroom and shut the door behind me, making sure the lock was secure.