SILENT DESIRES

Carefully, Matt stood, not wanting to risk waking Savannah up. He motioned for Dash to follow him outside the hospital room. When they walked out, Matt saw Stefan shove off the wall, his eyebrow arched in question.

“What are you two doing here?” Matt asked with a frown.

“That other night was really tense,” Dash said. “We tried to call you but couldn’t get you. You haven’t been picking up so we went by your apartment today. Your maid told us that you said Savannah had been taken to the hospital by ambulance so we came over to see if she’s okay.”

Matt closed his eyes as his throat knotted all over again.

“Whoa, man, you need to sit down,” Stefan said.

“Have you eaten?” Dash asked.

Matt shook his head.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“Want to tell us about it?” Dash prompted.

Matt stared at his two friends and emitted a harsh laugh. “How do you explain that you’ve made the worst mistake of your entire life and you’re not sure you can ever make amends?” he asked.

“That bad, huh,” Stefan said.

“Worse.”

“Is Savannah going to be alright?” Dash asked.

“I wish I knew. I did this to her. She’s lying in a hospital bed because I wasn’t there for her. What kind of a bastard does that make me?” Matt asked.

Stefan and Dash exchanged glances.

“Look, granted I don’t know the whole story, but I’d say that you aren’t solely to blame for the problem,” Dash said carefully.

“My brother assaulted her,” Matt said as rage flooded him all over again. “He tried to rape her and when she fought him off, he called me with an ingenious story. He claimed they slept together but when he told her it was a mistake, she threatened to tell me he tried to rape her so I wouldn’t break up with her for cheating on me. So of course not half an hour later when she shows up at my office telling me exactly what my brother said she would, I didn’t believe her. Because I couldn’t imagine my brother, the brother I all but raised, doing something so despicable. And when she begged me, when she got on her knees and pleaded with me to believe her, I wrote her a check and told her to get the hell out of my life.”

Dash and Stefan both looked at him stunned, speechless.

“How am I ever supposed to get past something like that,” Matt snarled. “Tell me how she’s supposed to get past that. Do you know that just that night before that stupid dinner I magnanimously told her that I forgave her? That I wanted us to forget the past and move forward and that I forgave her for cheating on me.”

He broke off and laughed a dry, harsh laugh. “Yeah, from the start I’ve been all about being the bigger person and wanting to start over when all along I treated her so unforgivably. She came to me for help, for protection, because I was the one person she counted on, and I turned my back on her.”

Matt turned away as his composure slipped. Tears burned his eyes. Angry, furious tears. He wanted to ram his fist into the wall. He wanted to roar with rage.

His friends flanked him, each slipping a hand over his shoulder.

“I don’t know what to say,” Dash said quietly. “I know you love her.”

“Yeah, I did, do, always have. I loved her and yet I did this to her. How is she ever going to be able to trust me again?” Matt asked.

“Someone needs to beat the hell out of that little bastard,” Stefan growled.

Matt slowly raised his head, his face set in stone. “He’ll never ever come close to her again. I’m going to kill him.” he said angrily.

“Damn,” Dash muttered. “Look, I know you’re pissed and you have every right to be, but don’t do anything stupid. He deserves to have his ass kicked, but don’t do anything to land yourself in jail. Savannah needs you. You can’t help her if you’re behind bars.”

“I can’t let him get away with it,” Matt said. “He touched her. He violated her. He hurt her.”

“I’m going with you,” Stefan said tersely.

Matt shook his head.

“You don’t get a choice. It’s either I go with you or I’m calling the police. The difference is, I’ll let you beat the crap out of him. But I won’t let you kill him. The police aren’t going to let you touch him. So what’ll it be?”

Matt’s lip curled into a snarl.

Dash sighed. “You should see yourself, man. It’s a good thing Savannah is sleeping. Whatever it is you need to do, you need to get it done so that when she wakes up you can be the support she needs. You’ll just scare her to death if she sees you like this.” he said.

“Dash can stay with Savannah,” Stefan volunteered. “I’ll go with you to confront Enzo. Then you can get your ass back here where you belong and put this whole thing behind you.”

Stefan made it sound easy, but Matt knew better. Savannah might not ever forgive him and he wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. But if she did and if she and Matt were going to be together, he was going to make damn sure his family was never an issue for her again.

“Will you do it?” Matt asked. “Will you stay with her for a while? If she wakes let her know…”

“I’ll handle it,” Dash said. “You just go so you can get your head on straight again. And rip his nuts off for me. The bastard deserves it.”

————————-

Enzo’s expression was one of resignation when he opened the door to Matt’s insistent knock. Matt didn’t give him time to do or say anything. He grabbed his brother by the shirt and propelled him backward into the apartment he lived in.

“What the-?” Enzo began.

Matt silenced him with a fist. Enzo went sprawling and Matt and Stefan both stood a few feet back waiting for him to pick himself up off the floor.

Enzo wiped at the blood on his mouth as he stumbled to his feet. “What the hell, Matt?” he yelled.

“Why did you do it?” Matt asked in a deadly quiet voice. “Why?”