Unwanted Heat

Nicholas

I wake up drenched in sweat with the blankets wrapped around me. I’m breathing heavy, and my heart is pounding; I fucking hate these nightmares. I hate that I can’t sleep through the night except for the rare occasion they don’t haunt me. The fact that I can’t share a bed with a woman has never bothered me, it’s just something that has always been a part of my life.

But now… I can’t help but think back to how it felt to sleep with Kenzie last night. Not after her reaction to… to what I did of course, but after we talked and I brought her back to my bed. She fell asleep so fast-I laid there watching her sleep for the longest time. I wanted to know what happened to her. I wanted to wake her up and demand she tell me. When she asked if I would tell her about my nightmares, I knew I had no choice if I wanted her to be open with me.

When she reacted to… to what I did, I assumed it had something to do with that shithead ex fiance she had who enjoyed hitting her. I was floored by what she had told me about her mother’s ex and even more shocked by her mother’s behavior. I wanted to ask so many more questions, but once she told me that she never saw them again, my mind was immediately eased. There are still several that remain unanswered and unasked: how did she survive after they left? Who raised her if she never saw her mother again? What happened to her mother? Do we need to be concerned that her mother will try to find her once our marriage is announced? Yet, after we traded stories, I asked none of those questions. I didn’t want to press her too much, she always shuts down at the mention of her past or her family, so I figured it was best to table the conversation for another day.

Today, has reality hitting us smack in the face as we both prepare for the wedding. Today marks the official beginning of our new arrangement-until today, nothing has really changed between us except her moving into the penthouse. Today, everything changes. Today, Kenzie officially becomes my wife. In a few days, PFS will release a statement and a picture of us telling the world that our lives have changed. As petrified as I once was about this arrangement, I am oddly calm this morning. She’s spending the morning with my mother at the spa getting pampered before we exchange vows on the beach this afternoon. I take out my laptop and try to get work done before I need to get ready for the ceremony.

“You ready?” Austin bangs on the door.

“You’re early,” I greet him.

“We made great time.”

“Everyone get here okay?”

“Yup, Cara is with Mom and Kenzie now. Alex and Ella are checking into their room. Grandmother and Grandfather are getting settled as well.”

“Good. Glad everyone was able to make the flight.”

“You don’t look like you’re ready to get married-you’re not even dressed yet!”

“All I need to do is throw on my suit, it takes a few minutes to get changed.”

“True… true.”

“How are things, Austin? You… you haven’t seemed yourself

lately.”

“Eh… you know.”

“I don’t actually.”

“Do you know I haven’t been on a date in months?”

“Really?” For Austin this is like an eternity.

“Yeah.”

“Dry spell?”

“Not really interested in anyone. Of course, I can get a girl on my doorstep with a quick call, but…”

“You don’t want just a fuck.”

“Seeing you and Kenzie… I want that.”

“You want what?”

“Someone to love me the way she loves you. Someone to look at me the way she looks at you. Someone who cares about how my day went, about the work that I do. I’ve watched her at the dinners: she’s actually interested in what you’re saying, no matter what the topic is. None of the girls I’ve been with would do that-they probably wouldn’t even be able to understand any of it. You found an amazing woman, bro; I don’t know what you did to deserve Kenzie, but she’s absolutely amazing. And she loves you no less.”

“I’m very lucky,” I agree, but I don’t argue that what he sees is only a strong friendship between two people. I can’t tell him that; I can’t tell him that what he is about to witness is nothing more than an act to benefit two people. I can’t tell him that in two years this will all be over.

“You’ll find someone who loves you, Austin. If you want something more than a one night stand, you might want to start by picking up women somewhere other than a strip club or a bar.”

“Ha, ha.”

“All kidding aside, I’m happy for you.”

“Enough with this sappy bullshit. Let’s do a shot!”

And like that the rare side of Austin is gone. He produces a small bottle of scotch from his pocket along with two shot glasses.

“Congrats, bro, you deserve this.”

“Thanks.”

After we complete our celebratory shot, Austin heads back to his room to get changed for the ceremony. I have a simple black suit hanging in the closet that I need to change into in a few minutes. We decided against a tux for the ceremony since the wedding was pretty casual. I’m about to get changed when my phone dings.

How are you? K

About to get dressed. You? N

Same. Hair and make-up are done. Loved the spa this morning. Thank you for arranging it. K

Hope you could relax. N

I did. It was very relaxing K

My mom and Cara aren’t driving you too crazy, I hope? N

They just went to get changed themselves. Your mom really seemed to enjoy the spa as well. Cara… is as bubbly as evermaybe a little more than normal. K

No surprise there. LOL N

I better get changed. I’ll see you on the beach in a few minutes. K

I find myself smiling at our text exchange without even realizing it. I’ve never really been one to text message; email sure, it’s a part of my day to day business, but texting is still kind of new to me. I like that it’s something I have with her. I find myself looking forward to the ding on my phone when she texts me. It tends to break up my day which is usually, otherwise, filled with meetings. I get worried that she is stuck in the condo all day; hopefully once the press dies down she can go back to the bakery or start taking the classes she has been looking forward to.

“Nicholas?” My dad knocks on my door just as I’m finishing putting my shoes on.

“I’m ready, Dad,” I say.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“I’m very happy for you, Son. You don’t know how proud your mother and I are of you. Not only do you run a very successful company, but you have found a beautiful woman who you love and who loves you back. Remember to make your marriage a priority: remember that Kenzie always needs to come first. Don’t take her love for granted-the type of love you have doesn’t come more than once in a lifetime. And don’t stop looking at her the way you do; that look, says everything about how you feel. Don’t lose that look.”

“I won’t, Dad.”

His words surprise me; I’m not sure how I look at Kenzie that would have him thinking that it shows how I feel. I care for Kenzie, deeply -she has easily become my closest friend especially in the last few weeks. Perhaps that’s what he sees? That must be it. He must be mistaking our friendship for something more.

“Kenzie will be leaving shortly, so we need to head down to the beach.”

I walk with my dad and Austin through the hotel and down the beach to the private area that is completely hidden. I was relieved when we walked down here yesterday and discovered the it was exactly like the pictures we saw online. It’s close enough to the hotel yet is private so hotel guests can’t see the area.